Archive for October, 2011

hawk writes: 10/27 niagra falls

we just had dinner with my aunt and uncle and cousins and cousin’s in law and cousins baby. it was great. we had fun. we laughed and ate. they all live in Canada. dinner was done. we said goodbye and then chamero crotch punched everyone in the parking lot. lot’s of “get down chamero”. chamero’s our dog. “get down chamero”

we got in our motorhome. we kissed. we talked about how great dinner was. “your family’s great. i really liked all of them” we searched for and found a campground for the night.

we pulled into our Niagra Falls KOA at 8:30, not exactly late by any terms. the place is blank. no lights. no signs. we circle around and see someone walk into what looks like a house, must be the manager. we pull up. i get out and walk up to the building. i can hear them talking inside. she says, “do you want me to put on my (indiscernible) underwear or…”

“hi, we’d like to camp for the night” i jump in.

“oh… uhhh….. i’m kinda naked”

my eyes calibrated and i was able to make out a very round silhouette with some sort of black sweater blouse on that was being pulled down as far as it would go to cover her very naked bottom half.

“OHH WOOWW, i’m sorry” i put my hand in front of my eyes and turn around. not sure if i should look at the stars or the grass. i decided the stars would be more believable. “we would just like a spot to camp”

“i’m sorry. i’m naked. and there’s this asshole in the other room.” she turned and shouted into what must have been the bedroom, “FRANK GET UP!!!” muffled words from the other room.

“i don’t know just get up… humph,” turns to me ”what are you?”

i said, ”i’m a human being” hoping to break the ice a little. maybe get her to laugh… nothing.

“i know you’re a human being, FRANK GET IN HERE!!! . … … … YOU TELL THEM WE”RE CLOSED”

i hear her walk away and hear what i assume must be Frank walk up and and outside.

“am i safe to turn around” hoping to make him laugh… nothing. he’s in his undies and a VERY thin sleeveless tshirt. he is also round and short and VERY hairy. beard, arm hair, shoulder hair, back hair, hand hair. everything hair.

“what do you got?”

“uh motorhome” i point.

“anywhere’s fine. the dry stuff is down there. you go gotta go all da way down and den back around through to the right and come back up. everting’s off but electric. i’ll come down in the morning. it’s like 25 bucks or some en like that”

i ran back to the motor home eager to tell katey what i just witnessed. i made crazy faces trying to say, ”Katey you have no idea how crazy this was”. i made sure to keep my body and neck as straight and serious as i could. so frank wouldn’t be able to tell i was laughing.

we drove all the way down to the right and came back up and found a spot. we both got out. i plugged us in and we met back up at the door to the camper. “look at the stars babe.” i looked up. ”STARS!” they turned out to be unbelievable. so many stars. we’ve been parking the camper in walmart parking lots and driveways and parking lots so this was really the first time we’d seen the stars like this.

Lio woke up and started crying so we calmed him down. rocked him and whispered to him and patted his back and told him he was safe and it was ok to sleep. he slept again so we laid him down in his little bed. he woke up a little again so i rolled him onto his stomach and patted his back. ”sssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….”

now we’re all snuggled in. about to enjoy a couple glasses of Canadian wine courtesy of my aunt and uncle and cousins and cousin’s-in-law. ( my aunt and uncle have a grape vineyard and winery. Hinderbrook is the wine. and it’s great. they got a couple gold’s and a silver and a bronze at some different wine contests. )

family is great.

yip yip.