We woke up on a couch in Amarillo.

My eyes always flit a little when Lio rises in the morning, like my psyche knows he’s awake and a subconscious part of my brain and awareness activate to met his cognition. I need to know my child’s awake because I need to know what my child is doing. Somehow, every morning, I come to just a matter of moments before he stirs. It must be biology, it’s happened since he was born. My body can feel it. Isn’t that weird?

Somehow, even though we’ve only spent a few hours here, our things have accumulated in every corner of the house. I fish our snacks out of the fridge and our tomatoes from the counter, gather our pillows and blankets, and begin to carry things out to the van.

The first seven hours to Austin were mine, having a seven-hour-long conversation with Conor while Hawk slept and Lio played with tractors and ate popcorn and cheddar bunnies and mixed tree nuts. We stopped at a gas station for a luxurious leg stretch, followed by hitting up our first Texas thrift store (irresistible). For the past couple of days, I have felt people look at us, and our Colorado plates, and say, “Oh, it’s begun.” It’s that time of year again. It’s clear the influx of bands is felt from every corridor, seeping in from surrounding state lines, even from the air. It’s like a nervous system driving against the grain deep into the heart of Texas. (Clap clap.)

At the thrift store I search out cowboy boots. I find a pair of sweet ones for $15, and an attendant tells me I need these boots, that they were made for me. I believe him. Conor finds a sign that says “Live, Love, Rock” and takes our picture in front of it. We’re sort of tired and delirious. We don’t really feel like getting back in the van right away.

Conor has really taken to Lio’s Halloween Wee Sing tape. If Lio ever starts to cry in the van – which is oddly rare – we pop in the Wee Sing and then everything’s cool. Hawk takes over to drive the last two hours, and we pop in the tape to ride out the last few minutes of the trip. Conor comments on the lyrics, pointing out certain lines that he loves, melodies he thinks are brilliant, backup vocals that rule. It’s a super weird tape of kids singing creepy Halloween songs in falsettos, is the gist of this thing. Conor is saying he is going to cover all these songs, did you hear that melody, this is so awesome. Every time he tells us how much he loves it, Hawk and I make fun of him. We are having a great tour.

People drive REALLY fast in Texas. I don’t feel the speed limit has dipped below 75 in 12 hours. We’re all time traveling, it’s not even a big deal. I actually got a callous today from the steering wheel.

Now we’re spinning along in the van, still on our way to Austin. I’m next to Lio, and in the dark, we’re holding hands.






  Lani Moeller wrote @

I always wake up right before Milo too. Sometimes when we’re not together I wake up with that same feeling in my brain and I know that where he is he must have just woken up. Crazy ingrained love connection, I think.

  Eros and the Eschaton wrote @

Oh! That is the sweetest thing ever. I love that you know exactly what I’m talking about. :)


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